Thank You
by HaloHunter89
Summary: "Don't judge yourself by what others did to you." -C. Kennedy [Season 1 one shot]


**Just a re-imagining of Carol and Daryl's first interaction or something that just thought up. I liked it so I wrote it.**

A road to nowhere it what it feels like when you can't even look up. It's endless, it's painful, it takes from you without regard but you get use to it. It becomes a type of defense mechanism because without it you are nothing. Being told that your entire life conditioned and trained you for it and this is what you tell yourself every morning. Suck it up. Stop whining. Be a man.

Dixon. It was a strong name or at least that was what your father and brother believed. To you though it was a name that held years of abuse and pain because you were saddled with the burden of never measuring up. It wasn't the big things, no, never was. It was the small things that most people overlook. Attention to detail was a thing for you even at a young age and you seen it then. The way your father looked at you and sneered with his eyes because you looked like your mother and took more after her. The way he didn't speak to you unless he had to and the way he didn't meet your eyes at all. You were below him.

It's these things that when you look back on it all you just shrug because what else can you do. Merle's there but you don't know how long because he always does what he wants. It's something you've come to expect. He comes and goes like the passing of seasons. It's painful, it's raw and it's everything your brother is. Selfish because he's never stopped to think about what his absence left you with. Scars aren't even the tip of the iceberg. There is a crater in your heart that nothing will ever fill.

The saddest fact of it all is you've accepted it. You know this is your cards and you don't plan to make any big plays because the world has never done you any favors. Why try for more when you'll only get kicked down and stomped. You'll hear Merle's condescending laughter after all telling you what a pussy you are and then that snake eyed look of your fathers. They're both mean men but of different calibers. There is times you knew Merle loved you but there was never a time when you knew that old man did. You knew he hated you and he made sure of it. He told you daily just so you didn't forget.

So when he meets your eyes over the fire and you see the same snake oil swirling in those dark depths you see red. You see red because you see yourself cowering next to her. You see your mother in the way she holds herself away from him and moves as slow as possible. You hate everything about it and you hate it even more that everyone else acts like they don't see it. He's a smug bastard now that the law is gone. But he hasn't counted on the other side of the law being there either.

You aren't a criminal- not like your brother. A few arrest for fights but nothing that you started. If you were like your brother you'd turn your head to because you can't be bothered. So when you find yourself standing when you hear his hand connect it's muscle memory that kicks in because you don't even think about it. You don't care what these people think, never have, you can make it on your own. So if they decide to kick you out for this at least you've done something for her- for them both.

It doesn't take long for them to break the fight up but you didn't think that it would really. Shane has to throw his weight around like he was somebody that old world title making him think he still mattered. Still you don't regret it because you see relief in her eyes and a thanks because you know no one has ever stood up for her before or her little girl. With a nod of your head and a stiff upper lip you turn on your heel and ignore Merle. Merle is his own man and the same goes for you.

"What was that?"

Barely looking at him you see that look and want to scream at him. He knew but acts like he didn't. Guilt. You know that look because he wears it well- like the wolf in sheeps clothing. He was always good at playing the part.

"You know damn well what he does."

"Ain't our business baby brother." His voice holds all the authority an older brother who demands to be followed can give.

Shaking your head you look over seeing her watching you. "Doesn't have to be my business just needed doing."

Merle sucks his teeth and you disappear into the tent. You ignore everything but you can hear Shane. Now he seems like he wants to play good cop. HE wants to act like he's going to do something about that abusive son of a bitch. Fuck him. He's doing it only because that cunt Lori will keep thinking he's a good man and spreading her legs for him. Whatever helped him sleep at night he supposed.

You don't need a reason to help. That's what he wanted Merle to understand. Merle refused to think of their mother. He refused to remember her and at times you swore you seen that same look in his eyes that your father had because of that. Her choice was made and because she didn't see an out of her situation she took her life. She took the only exit she seen and Merle hates her for it. Your father hated her for it. You? You only feel sadness because the world is such a shitty place that no one even cared enough to offer a kind smile to a woman beaten and broken asking for help. That smile could have saved her that day, could have made her think someone was going to care for once that maybe not everyone was bad. Instead she's gone and you were left to the cold hard reality that most of people were pure shit.

Merle hardened further, your father got more abusive. You? You turned away from it all and withdrew. You pushed yourself harder because you didn't want to be like him. You wanted out of that town and to show her memory that you weren't going to be that man that she married. So when you seen him and you seen that little girl with fear in her eyes you'd had enough.

Morning comes quick and you want to go hunting but Merle is leaving today for a run so you want to see him off. You'll be leaving later than usual but you figure if you stay out overnight hunting you can make up for the late start. He's avoiding you like the plague but it doesn't matter because the early sunlight shows you the damage you've done. You're knuckles are bruised but when in your life haven't then been? You've always been fighting back and against the current.

"Daryl?"

She's quiet and you didn't hear her come up on you. Turning your head your eyes lock and that same look is there. A silent thanks. Arching a brow at her and tilting your head knowing that her husband is watching and that this is likely going to cause more trouble for her than it's worth.

"Yes?"

Her face is flushed and her eyes are shining. She's alive.

"Thank you."

You can hear the embarrassment in her voice and that pisses you off. She has nothing to be ashamed of. "Don't judge yourself by what others did to you." Raising your eyebrows at her look, "No need to thank me ma'am."

Standing there your chest tightens as she takes you in. It's quick as her eyes sweep over you from head to toe. She wants to say more you can see it there in her eyes but she doesn't and you're happy. You aren't good with emotions, not yours, and damn sure not someone elses. She seems to get that and just smiles at you.

"Be careful out there hunting."

"Always am."

She's walking away and you see her piece of shit husband already glaring at her. Her daughter is trailing close to her but she keeps looking over her shoulder like she wants to say something to you. She's scared to though and you realize it's for her mother's sake. It's painful because even more you see that she's more like you then any kid should be. She gives you a quick smile and a wave hidden behind her mother. Smiling slightly you incline your head and she blushes ducking her head and running after her mother.

You don't have much faith in this group as a whole. No you got it figured that most are dead weight as bad as that is to say. But it's the truth and you've always been a realist. But that woman you figure is stronger than she even realizes. It'll take getting away from the dead weight of her husband but you know the day she does she's going to shock the world. And that is enough to make watching Merle leave you again, even if just for a quick run, bearable.


End file.
